I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
