I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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