Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize