I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize