I accidentally had phone sex last night
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
