I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
