Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
