I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Randomize