In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So much rum. So many feels.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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