so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
