I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
