But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
fuck your aforementioned shoe
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Randomize
