It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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