He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
