I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize