Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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