Pants 0. Shit 1.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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