Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
