I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
