Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Your topless pictures make me question reality
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
