help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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