everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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