oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
