Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
worst night to have a conscience
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
