The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
