Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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