is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
