i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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