You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
