I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
