Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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