So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
