Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The Olympian is in my bed
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