Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
