i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
