I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
the liver wants what the liver wants
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
