WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
