He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
