Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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