How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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