Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
