There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
