is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
