Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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