Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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