is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
