just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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