Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
well you can't waste a boner
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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