i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
