Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
