you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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