she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
