i think my mom watched the whole time
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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