So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
