I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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