How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
