Nicole vs. Life
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
